


Sometimes a Quiche is Just a Quiche

by Unforth



Series: Tumblr Ficlets: Supernatural [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Dean Being an Asshole, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Quiche, Sam Winchester is so Done, Top Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 21:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10727403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforth/pseuds/Unforth
Summary: Tumblr ficlet written to the prompt: Dean finds a place that has Burger Pie. Sam teases him that it's quiche. They argue about the nature of the Burger Pie / quiche.





	Sometimes a Quiche is Just a Quiche

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ramblingandpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramblingandpie/gifts).



> The past couple weeks, I've taken prompts for short fics and written and posted them on Tumblr. I wanted to post them on AO3 as well but have been considering how best to do so. A quick survey of my subscribers and followers suggests that people would prefer if I post them all as individual stories and put them in a series together instead of as multiple chapters on the same file or any other of several options, so that's what I'm doing.
> 
> Please note that I generally do not take "out of nowhere" prompts, cause I don't have time, but I will sometimes ask people to send me ideas and I'll write them in the order I receive them. 
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at [unforth-ninawaters](unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com).
> 
> Make sure you read the prompt! 
> 
>  
> 
> [~original post~](http://unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com/post/159972692883/sending-my-prompt-as-an-ask-dean-finds-a-place)
> 
> This one went a little long, mostly cause it was for my wife...
> 
> Prompt, from ramblingandpie:  
> Sending my prompt as an ask. Dean finds a place that has Burger Pie. Sam teases him that it's quiche. They argue about the nature of the Burger Pie / quiche.

“Oh my fucking _god_ , Sammy, you have _got_  to try this,” Dean groaned around a full mouth. Sam looked at him in distaste, and Dean swallowed and grinned. “It’s a _pie_ , but it’s also a goddamn _hamburger_  - like, there’s the bread, and the burger, and the cheese, and there’s even goddamn _bacon_. This is it - this is the _ultimate_  food. I have achieved pie Nirvana.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “One - culturally insensitive and a horrible, stereotypical bastardization of an entire religion. Two - when _I_  enjoyed a broccoli quiche last week, you called it ‘the gayest food you’d ever seen,’ a second example of shocking insensitivity. So, what, it’s manly when _you_  eat it?”

“It’s not a…it’s not a _quiche_ ,” spluttered Dean. “And eating a damn hamburger pie doesn’t make me _gay_. This is the manliest pie in the fuckin’ _country._ Manwiches ain’t got _nothin’_  on this masterpiece, they should call it a…a…Man’s Man Pie.”

Sam rolled his eyes _even more emphatically_. “Dean. It’s burger ingredients in egg in a pie crust. That’s the _definition_  of a quiche. Furthermore, your insistence on assigning gender and relative masculinity and heterosexuality to your food is flat-out bizarre. Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

“Oh does he? Well _methinks_  the quiche-lover is jealous of my Man Pie,” said Dean, puffing out his chest and using his fork to break off an over-sized chunk of burger and stuff it in his mouth. To emphasize his point, he chewed with his mouth open.

“And _that_  doesn’t make you manly, it makes you disgusting,” said Sam with a sigh. “Heck, this entire _conversation_  makes you disgusting, and honestly, I don’t get where it’s coming from because I know you’re not _actually_  a homophobe.”

“Awesome, so that means I get a bye on pointing out that you’re quiche makes me think you’re flaming?” said Dean with a smirk, a bead of burger juice running down his chin.

“Ew, no, it means that you’ve finally pushed this bullshit too far and it’s time for me to call you out,” Sam rolled his eyes _again_.

“You know they’ll get stuck if you keep doing that,” Dean said with a laugh, snarfing down another bite.

“I’ve had it with your over-correcting hyper-masculine shit, Dean,” said Sam seriously.

“How did me enjoying my Man Pie turn into a grilling of my heterosexuality? Can’t a man enjoy a goddamn hamburger masterpiece in _peace_  without you getting all preachy on him, Sammy boy?”

“No, _you_  can’t,” said Sam.

“Awww, gonna cry about it? Want to talk about how I hurt your feelings when I tease you about your sexuality? Sometimes a quiche is just a quiche,” Dean said with a wink.

_Deflect, deflect, deflect, de–_

“ _Exactly_ , Dean! Eating a hamburger quiche doesn’t make you or _anyone_  any less manly, you idiot!”

“Har har har, I–”

“Dean, _I know_.”

 _Shit, no, deflect_ –

“I–”

“I know about the panties, Dean - I’ve always known. I know you’re wearing them right now, and I know that you have a secret stash of women’s clothes under the weapons in the trunk of the Impala and–”

“Hey, you don’t know shit, I–”

“–and I know about Rhonda Hurley and Aaron and Benny and I _know you bottomed for Cas for the first time last night and that you fricken loved it_  so can you just drop the act already?”

Dean dropped his fork with a clatter.

“It’s just quiche,” he said hoarsely.

“Yes! Right! It’s _just a fucking hamburger quiche_ and you’re just _bi_  and it _doesn’t fricken matter_  so can you stop being such a huge asshole about this and go back to being my brother?”

“Fuck, Sam…” Dean breathed, swallowing hard. His stomach roiled. Sam knew. Sam had _always_  known. _How_? And why hadn’t he ever said anything? Why hadn’t he treated Dean as Dean had _deserved_  to be treated, the moreso after all the homophobic crap he’d spewed over the years in an effort to change the topic. No one who said homophobic stuff could ever be secretly gay, right?

_Right, it’s just the single biggest tell in the universe and the utter stereotype that people who say this kind of bull are projecting._

“It’s okay, Dean,” said Sam, slumping back in his chair with a sigh. “I was waiting for you to say something, especially after you and Cas hooked up last year, but listening to you today…I just snapped. Would you _ever_ have told me?”

“No, probably not,” Dean admitted. His burger pie no longer looked half so appealing. But… “But I’m glad you know.” Shocked, Sam looked up and smiled, that perfect puppy dog look that set his eyes gleaming and made Dean’s heart melt every damn time. “I’ll, uh, I’ll work on it, okay?”

“Cas makes you happy, right?” said Sam.

“Yeah,” Dean sighed. “Yeah, he really does. And heck, I think once in a blue moon I make him happy, too.” God, he was disgusted with himself, and ashamed, for enjoying his time for Cas, and for all the horrible things he’d said over the years. How could he ever make it up to Sam, to Cas?

How could he ever make it up to himself?

“I’m sorry, Sammy.”

“It’s okay, Dean. I grew up with our dad too. I know what kind of pressure you were under. But now that you know I know…can you just…stop?”

“I’ll try,” Dean promised. “But will you do something for me in exchange?”

“Anything,” Sam vowed.

“Call me on my bullshit every time,” Dean said, and then he smirked. “And acknowledge that _Man Pie_  is a way better for this glorious creation than _beef quiche_. Deal?”

“Deal!”


End file.
